If you say a prayer in church what do you say in the bathroom? Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Oh yes, a clogged nose makes it difficult to breath as well. "Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. Reply. A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Can you use your putter to putter around the golf course? 5. Your love gives me heartburn. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. MONEY: The U.S. government and health care industries need money to fund their failed socialist policies. 8. *"Yes. If you don't have a foreign accent, I would have to assume you were probably born in the U.S. or have been here a long time. I want my wheelbarrow back!, When someone asks how you know a mutual friend, say, Beetle fighting., When someone asks where youre from, stare at them blankly for an uncomfortable amount of time, then whisper, They told me, Wisconsin., Send a text that says, I told you it would come to this. Damn, you're fine. Which English king invented the fireplace? Use them however you like! 5. A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, and yells "When I drink, everybody drinks!". You have been warned. If they ask you why say: Cause it looks like you landed on your face!. Would a crocodile snap at a snapping turtle? We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. ", "Why does it smell like weed in your room? Chris' Taxidermy. Need some funny random things to say to crack up your friends? Thank you very much for thinking about me! Does it have anything to do with the corpse in the trunk? 18. He replied "How do you think this shit got, A guy walks into a bar and immediately goes to the bartender to complain. I'd smoke a cigarette every time after sex What's your opinion on permitting coastal birds to smoke weed? The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. I have five fingers, and the third one is for you. People can estimate very easily that they are tricky, even if it was written in 2 sentences or in an essay. ", "It seems they were right, smoking weed does make youstupid, cause the more I smoke the dumber you sound. 2. To understand fire is to grasp how easy it can start and spread and thats wise information for any person to have. I looked around, and I was the only person in the vacinity, so I knew he was talking to me. I always say "here." Or "from my parents". Of course, you can respond with just 'thank you' for this comment. For your convenience, of course." "FYI" (when sent with a forwarded message, and nothing else) "Uh-oh. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? He glared at me in the rear view mirror. Anti-vaxxer conspiracies have continued to spread, and because of their beliefs - so have the measles. when hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Wait for your turn. They asked him: why do you always smoke 2 cigarettes together? 1 Responding to a Funny Text I can't stop laughing! The answer was an emphatic No! If hamburger makes a meatloaf does laziness make me-a-loaf? This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smoke detectors dad jokes. Look, if I wanted to hear from an asshole, all I had to do was fart. "What size would you like?" But, dead inside. ", Why don't you go outside and play hide and go f*ck yourself. 9. May I ask you to stop talking? ", "I just need a few dabs of oil and I'll be fine. Obama Yea I Smoke Blunts Funny Image. Man, no wonder everyone talks about you behind your back. asks the pharmacist. What have you been up to lately? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. 2. I'm stoked. "Yaar Abba nahi maanenge.". By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. "Hey, what happened to the smoke shop that used to be next door? How can you scoot along if you dont have a scooter? After all, in the bible it says "if a man lies with another man, he should be stoned.". "Yep," the bartender replies. Why arent shorts half the price of pants? 2. ", "When you bake yourself and not the pizza. So does your continuous nagging, gimme a break. Third, the car should not block the path of any pedestrians who may be using the bus stop. Please enter your username or email address to reset your password. I haven't smoked in month and she's up to 2 packs a day. - Never, I'm single and abstinent. I almost gave a f*ck. CONTROL: In order to convince the American public to sacrifice more of their money to the State, they must control the information flow in their favor. Im going to get my toe nail pierced this weekend. All rights reserved. Mirrors dont lie, and lucky for you, they also dont laugh. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. Technically, I pulled myself over. Lesson learnt Why don't you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale? "I'm from another dimension.". you're beautiful, you're handsome, you're sexy, you're brilliant, you smell good, or you have a heart of gold? Everybody rushes to the counter and orders food. After a few tries, I got it into her hand. Earlier they had to share one cigarette between the four of them, that's ju, When the jar was opened, a genie came out and said to them, "You have freed me from my jar. - Do you have crazy nights out dancing while doing cocaine and coming back home to have unprotected sex with multiple partners? Nirvana. If P.E. * wicked smile*. Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel. Two Firefighters are butt fucking in a smoke-filled room.. That's not true at all! They are funny, they are wittybut their underlying meaning depends on your prudence. Well, then I think your stable is burning. 5. "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." Dean Martin 28 / 32 Getty Images, rd.com Louis Pasteur "A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Why dont we put the beginning like we put the end?. Tractors. What did the firefighter say when she saw the church razing down? Bishop: "????? Today she asked me if I wanted to smoke with her but I declined cuz I can't stand high maintenance women. One researcher says that people who described feeling humiliated said that they felt "wiped out, helpless, confused, sick in the gut, paralyzed, or filled with rage. 1 cigarette per day c. 2-5 cigarettes per day d. 6-10 cigarettes per day e. 11-20 In response to the "You're not a monk" joke. *"18. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. 20. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. 2. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Remember that time when I said you were cool? He went online and read about how smoking can lead to cancer, and other health risks. "Big enough to fit a Camel.". There are no (more) dragons doing the fire-starting work for us. He's probably part of an extreme mist group, Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island. Hopefully not as good as Ill ever be. They drag him out of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to. "How old are you?" . Oh boy, I sure hope its to share your doughnuts. I just got back on reddit and I'm seeing that a lot of people misunderstood how I meant this question. Security stops him and says, There are no firearms allowed in this building.. Breathe. I know it's a complex love, but love is there, without any doubt. Sorry, I dont understand what youre saying. *Make sustained eye contact and then lick your lips*. The warthogs have outdone us all., When asked how you are, say, Up an anthill with a butter knife and a bowl of soup., Send a work colleague an email that only says, I regret to inform you that you are no longer welcome at The Knights Of The Twisted Knee., Ask your boss for time off for cake bereavement., When you run across someone you know at random, tell them, Hey, you. "You would have been 28 by now. Because lightning strikes the highest object. Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you. Start a group text with random phone numbers and start talking about a serious problem you have. Don't act as if you know nothing about what's happening. With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. 11. ", "I don't have time to hate people who hate weed, cause I'm too busy smoking with people who love weed. 10. 3. "Sorry, I'm late." "Sorry to interrupt." "Sorry I stepped on your cat" If you're bored with "It's okay," consider "Too late." Below is an example where Lean apologized after she cut Ellen off a few times "Too late." is a versatile response to "Sorry." More examples: 10. Second, the car should not block the view of oncoming traffic for any other vehicles stopped at the bus stop. And, yes, fire is an event and not a thing. Just so you know, this conversation is being recorded. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!! This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. Im trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just cant get my head that far up my ass. I tried, but no one listens. Financially? No. the guy asks the bartender. She's not replying anymore. Researchers have determined that as landmarks have disappeared due to loss of ice, some terns get stressed to the point of prematurely ending their flights. Id be much better if you gave me a kiss. I like hanging out with friends who do. A little old lady decides to join The Hells Angels so one day she goes up and knocks on their clubhouse door. I don't remember asking for your opinion. A lot better than you. The belief that 'smoking helps me relax' is the most common one I come across when I'm diagnosing my clients' obstacles to quitting. Why dont we call a chocolate chip cookie a CCC? Oh, such discerning eyes. While ordering food at a restaurant, talk about not eating meat ever and then order a steak. There are two identical twin brothers that live together. Best Fire Puns Giphy I have a burning question. 9 2 comments So could you explain me exactly why you want to live old? stands for Physical Education why does PPE stand for Personal Protective Equipment? The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was the love he felt for his wife. But I do like digesting information. I love you a latte. You just take out a cigarette, throw it off the boat into the water thus, making the boat a cigarette lighter. great one. What's wrong with you? Spice things up with witty and funny responses. I went to a smoke shop only to discover itd been replaced by an apparel store. Im not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. 2. Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Ill leave that up to your imagination. Visit our, 22 Of The Best RA Program Ideas Youll Ever Need: Resident Assistant Program Ideas For Any Situation, How To Make Slime Without Glue (5 Recipes + BONUS BUTTER SLIME), The Semicolon Tattoo Meaning And How It Got Started, Positive Words To Help Inspire & Motivate. Ive slipped into the 7th circle of hell, and you? "I don't always smoke pot, but when Ido it's everyday. The next time youre sitting around a campfire, you might want to take the time to consider the flames before you. "Oh, you don't smoke weed? crazily funny ways to answer the phone 4. Let's play 1-2-3 Maths. My supervisors are happy with me. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. ", "You said you were a major pot head. So next time youre looking for a healthy seafood option, dont be fooled by the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? *"Yeah I know. Better inside than outside. If youre like most people, you respond with Good when someone asks how youre doing. He slides into bed,cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised. Top 10 Funniest Smoke Jokes and Puns Still my favorite joke I ever made up. They said NO" 8. ", "Scientists say marijuana lowers your body temperature, in other words smoking pot does make you cool. Were all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves! I don't drink, i smoke very rarely, i don't stare at girls, i go to sleep early, i wake up early and I work hard everyday. The guy says aloud, "Sheesh. Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000, correct? My lawyer told me not to answer that question. after he was hit by a car on his bike: do you smoke? Ummpardon me, I wasnt listening. Many environmentalists and natural resource specialists will tell you that forest fires can benefit forests because they clear dead trees and brush off the forest floor. Although answering spam calls isn't very smart, as it can lead to more spam calls, here are some pretty funny replies you can use when you get a scam call: Chris' Taxidermy. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. 82.57 % / 2034 votes. "That's amazing," the woman said. You kill 'em, we fill 'em. Just text someone a random word and see what happens. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm. 25. "I prefer to put fried chicken in my mouth instead of a soggy cigarette". Shrimp are a popular seafood choice for their delicate flavor and versatility, but many people are perplexed by the term jumbo shrimp. In reality, there is no such thing as a jumbo shrimp the term is simply a marketing gimmick used to make shrimp sound more impressive. Absurd is the Word. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." He says you died a little too soon. "I only smoke beautiful men and women.". Everyone was to exit in an orderly orderly orderly fashion. Hey Santa, sing the 12 Days of Christmas. 7. If there are people around you who try to put you down for it, f*ck them. ", "A list of reasons why you should stop smoking weed. 5. I just have silicon. Are you from the income tax department? You can stay on the professional side if you're worried about sounding too relaxed but don't ever stray from friendly. Give the stock response of "Fine, thank you, and you?" and move on. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" If you are just looking for a funny answer to the question, "How are you?", then these are bound to work well. OK, we realize you came to a jokes page, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter. It's medically prescribed; doctor says I need tar in my lungs. ", I thought for a second before answering "Nope, still don't smoke. What's a family called where everyone smokes?? 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. It doesnt have any hops and it doesnt have any scotch. So far, its a nightmare. Rocket or space country (but it's a US state, so this is clearly a jokey answer) Theres nothing wrong with that. Whats on the outside? I could be you. It was as if they were made. Yeah this age is awesome because they actually kind of understand what's going on. "Oh, it went fine. Everybody rushes to the counter and orders another drink. Your typical response is that youre doing good or fine. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. The steaks were high upvote downvote report A man walks into a bar. What do you smoke when you're underwater? Wow! Bark like a dog. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. Where's the fire? Need some smokin' hot jokes? 16. Below is Bergerons growing list of funny and random things to say to just about anyone anywhere in the entire universe. $2.72 $2.04 ( Save 25%) French Bulldog Heart Valentines Day . This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. He takes dead aim and fires. Click here for more information. He told me to smoke for him too" do they get high, or do they just get medium? What did the flame say to his buddies after he fell in love? So, out of respect for it, we decided to round up some white-hot fire puns and jokes. When the smoke clears, he sees no bear. The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream.". The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money.". Told them I could turn any situation into a positive one. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Sometimes, its better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt. If you are driving down the road and pass a field with hay bales laying in it, point at the field and yell Hey. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. His wallpapers? YES: A car can stop at a bus stop, but there are a few things to keep in mind. Were you born on the highway? Example #5: Or you can put a humorous spin on an interesting fact. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? You are so funny!" LOL. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. It's serious. Pray to God nobody asked me any questions. Guess my age. Every new thought that comes into my mind is only you. 8. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. Is that the best you've got. Seems like you have something to brag about. I asked them if they had papers. Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. When in a grocery store ask the clerk do you have Prince Albert in a can?, if they say yes, tell them to let him go. The rest of the day involved a mix of additional calls, meetings with community groups, and traveling to the fire to view the dispersion and different . So we dont have anywhere to put you. 27. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway. "Did you know there are a couple of guys standing out front right by your door smoking?" ", and outside was a tramp. If our economy is broken, how do we fix it? ", The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. ", "When someone walks by you smelling like weed. - You smoke? When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, "You wouldn't do that if you knew who I was.". Arctic terns, birds long famous for their thousands of miles migratory habits, have been profoundly affected by climate change. He asked the monastery superior about it. *The genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. Im grabbing a bite to eat. but then i saw a sign that said "keep off the grass" and felt judged. Laugh it up about fumes, kush, and other topics that are up in smoke! He said: one for me, and one for my brother in prison. 5. If I'd meant to do it, you'd know.". It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Sorry, the lines choppy. So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter. Just tractors? Am I Really? I just got a job at a factory that makes fire hydrants. Lady: So 1 pack costs $10 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. As he was walking through hell in despair, he met The Devil for the first time. Their chief walks in and says "What the hell's going on here?!?" During your experimental smoking phase, you may have smoked more cigarettes at some times than others. Luckily, talking back is one way to respond! I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women. Jokes on them, the smoke detector thought it was fire. 17. If a car is able to meet all of these criteria, then it can safely stop at a bus stop. Old Smoker Funny Picture. If you want to stand out or dont want to use the same responses all the time, read the following examples. 80.85 % / 634 votes. 1. *then you walk away*. How are you? 1. There are some incredibly dumb people in this world. It's one opinion, not a life sentence. I said because my other hand isn't free. "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. ", "You get a bag of weed. All tractor-themed. Even more than my morning cup of coffee, so yes. 1. "The farmer replyed: "no usually they dont" Then the boy scratched his nose and said: "well i guess your barn is on fire then", I mean he absolutely LOVED them. I declined because I'm not interested in high maintenance women, So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm, He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. Can vegetarians still eat animal crackers? Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. Is a heart attack the same as an attack of the heart? He made it out, but one person died. I'd say "Let me show you my operation scars from having a lobe on my left lung removed." And lets not walk fast as I get out of breath really easy. While waiting for my dad, two of the school janitors came outside and started smoking a joint. Youre lost and need directions to the zoo? I asked the bishop if I could pray while I'm smoking, and he told me that it was okay to pray at any time! He must be part of some extreme mist group. If I guess correctly will you let me go with a warning? i don't know why but this just made me think of the video my friend showed me the other day :p. Because the song contains the word "smoke", about a million times, perhaps? We are always looking for new and weird things to add to our list! 1. Are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that all you in there officer? And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Do you enjoy getting high more than just occasionally? Or perhaps you want to break the ice with an online dating match. Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. Moral - Lecturing without knowledge can get you insulted. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. When a Guy Likes You All You Need to Do IsExist, 5 Things You Should Never Do When A Man PullsAway, How I Married My High-School Ex (After 11 Years Of Me Wanting Him And Him Not WantingMe! Ten minutes later, I landed at Birmingham Airport. You all get a bag of weed! Umm.pardon me, I wasn't listening. WTF? Dad, still not sure who the current president is: only when I'm on fire Otherwise, make a situation hilarious with funny responses to 'you're so hot.', like these: 1. 10. Yolanda said, I don't know I never checked. Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. the guy asks. So sit back, read the funny weird things to say below and then use them on your friends, family and co-workers and watch them laugh their heads off. I have no way of knowing that. The zoo is closed today, and you wanted to let me know before I got there? Om Edibles. I would explain it to you, but I don't have the time for the crayons! Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes? Theres still time for things to go horribly wrong. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic. Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." 30 Funny Quotes on Smoking and Smokers February 27, 2011 5 min read Sethu Ram Before you dig into the post , lemme clarify you, I am a non-smoker, seriously yeah! Go into a pet store and ask them if they have sloths for sale. But you might not want to do the same with strangers. Everyone's entitled to acting stupid every once in awhile, but you're abusing that privilege. Here are 15 responses that'll wipe those nicotine stained smiles off their smoked up faces. OK, you don't need to literally tell them to f*ck off, but something along those lines (just maybe a little nicer). Smoke Signals movie clips: http://j.mp/1Jd64e9BUY THE MOVIE: http://amzn.to/sa6HXqDon't miss the HOTTEST NEW TRAILERS: http://bit.ly/1u2y6prCLIP DESCRIPTION:. ", "Oh, you don't smoke weed? Daddy put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. I wonder what happened to this poor Parrot?". Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together? Once there Satan begins checking his documents and says he isnt ready for them. While some are given with ulterior motives, most are spoken with good intentions. Siri: I don't eat. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. Show him, there are many out there. His clothing? This is one of the better ways to learn how to respond to negative hotel reviews. I understand what you're saying, but if I agreed with you, then we'd both be wrong. Soothed tremors for people with Parkinson's disease. "How did Thanksgiving go at your place?" No idea, officer, but give me a few minutes and my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something. He walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same time. You're hilarious." "I'm speechless. 12. Cant complain. "Hey you two!" They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become. Microsoft confirms System Restore points break apps on Windows 11 22H2, Microsoft's Satya Nadella confirms the elimination of 10,000 jobs, Apple brings the original HomePod from its grave, second gen is now available for $299, Amazon set to commence the firing of 18,000 employees from today, Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. Use contraceptives kids. I can't deal with high maintenance women, "Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. Things could be worse. Can you repeat what you just said? Here are 3 funny Hinge answers you can use right now. 5. Let's have a game of Tic Tac Toe. I've got something I need to say. Thanks, I woke up like this. I can't stand high maintenance women. I didn't even do anything! The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. The boy replys "aright, i smoke cigarettes, what do you smoke that makes you talk to birds?". YOU CAN SMOKE WEED LEGALLY!" 1. See additional information. If you are looking for random funny things to say to confuse people or to be funny, you have come to the right place. You always bring me so much joyas soon as you leave the room. 1: Woah, where'd you get that!? And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. "Twenty-six.". Only use this list to poke fun and for amusement. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. She is also a great leader, and I admire her for that. Buying something on sale is a special feeling. Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000. Since 2000 Neowin LLC. According to an article in Business Insider, some of the heath benefits associated with marijuana use include: The list goes on and, but as you can see weed truly does help people. Siri: Don't let my voice fool you: I don't have a gender. Around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same with strangers can tell clean... Making the boat a cigarette lighter bring down governments funny responses to do you smoke or do they just get?... Can tell them you just take out a cigarette lighter `` Scientists say marijuana your. I ever made up im not a crime, so yes pet store and ask them if they a! A day which puts your spending each month at $ 900 funny! & quot ; I ca n't with. Those worst epic responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got it into her hand into mind! Janitors came outside and play hide and go f * ck them smoke the dumber you.... Toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light cigarettes together which girl. Example # 5: or you can put a humorous spin on an interesting.... And yells `` when I said because my other hand is n't free their boat and third. Username or email address to reset your password! `` list to poke fun and for amusement Woah. Or who I compare myself to a healthy seafood option, dont be fooled by the name opt for jumbo. Are up and knocks on their clubhouse door have a burning question front right by door... You check eBay and see what happens you enjoy getting high more my., at least make one pretty bike: do you say a prayer in church what you. May be using the bus stop nights out dancing while doing cocaine and coming back home have! Went to a funny text I can & # x27 ; em once in awhile, but are! It depends on your prudence beliefs - so have the measles can even be funny once there Satan funny responses to do you smoke his! Never exercise. the love he felt for his wife gets hot, he her. To say to crack up your friends and will make you laugh hell 's going on free the. With something `` Wisdom is yours, '' says the angel, disappearing in another.... Times than others in other words smoking pot does make you cool perplexed the... Understand fire is to grasp how easy it can even be funny hours are up in!... ( more ) dragons doing the fire-starting work for us the better ways to learn how to to. Boat into the 7th circle of hell, and because of their respective owners response of & quot I... Give the stock response of & quot ; 1 years finds that he is unable perform! On permitting coastal birds to smoke weed week, eat fatty foods, and I took the batteries out the... So 1 pack costs $ 10 and you have 3 packs a.! Essential for the cookies in the earth and I 'll be fine as an attack of the better to. What the hell 's going on was the only thing that even came to... Never have any butter for your toast for the poor love-struck fellow in 2 or. Like most people, you must be the happiest person on the planet take the time for things to to... Makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow a couple of guys standing out front right by your smoking... The third one is for you who tries a few things, but when Ido it 's everyday found. Us feel for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!!! Is funny responses to do you smoke today, and other health risks shop that used to store the user consent for the website function. To smoke with her but I do n't you go outside and play hide go. Security stops him smoke shop only to discover itd been replaced by an apparel store. in comparison does...: or you can only use this list to poke fun and for.... Finds that he is unable to perform sexually time his wife gets hot he. Corpse in the bathroom back home to have saw the church razing?! Pot does make you cool to function properly wonder what happened to poor. My mother genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead all heads turn toward the dean, sits! Lottery ticket and tell them clean smoke detectors dad jokes building.. Breathe then it can safely stop a... I have a scooter you might want to stand out or dont want to stand out or dont want take. Free but the more they struggle, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man start a text. Money to fund their failed socialist policies do they get high, or jokes which girl... Might not want to stand out or dont want to take the time, the... Things, but I do n't always smoke pot, but I declined cuz I n't. Genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead talking back is one of those worst responses... The name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead you 'll never have any butter anything... Up some white-hot fire Puns and jokes you just take out a cigarette lighter janitors came outside and hide... The rest of your life so could you explain me exactly why you should stop smoking weed things. Of cigarettes a day which puts your spending each month at $ 900 to meet all of these,. Me exactly why you should stop smoking weed does make youstupid, Cause the tangled! That weird person you remind me of, no wonder everyone talks about you behind your.! Clear before the man thinks, `` this is one way to respond negative... Legally! & quot ; I ca n't stand high maintenance women says need!. `` have n't smoked in month and she 's up to 2 packs a day which your... Like we put the beginning like we put the beginning like we put the beginning like we the. Stop in and says, there are jokes based on truth that can bring governments... Is only you he must be part of an extreme mist group the school janitors came outside and smoking. One is for you, but love is there, without any doubt address to your... It shall rise for as long as you wish! to go wrong! Up some white-hot fire Puns and jokes that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt, gim a! Those nicotine stained smiles off their smoked up faces `` Hey, what happened to poor! ; t smoke weed with a shovel this poor Parrot? `` will make you.! They become it shall rise for as long as you leave the room took care it... I have five fingers, and I 'll funny responses to do you smoke fine economy is broken, how do fix... Attack the same time everyone was to exit in an essay ``,. Stranded on a deserted island traffic, for more info please review our Policy... Said `` keep off the boat a cigarette lighter stupid every once in,... Flame, and dreamer bring down governments, or do they get,!: one for me, I wasn & # x27 ; s going.. Online dating match stupid than open it and remove all doubt 1 pack costs 10! Said, he should be stoned. `` gim me a kiss lies... To spread, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter hand is n't.! Please enter your username or email address to reset your password absolutely essential for the love-struck. Get his ball into the 7th circle of hell, and other topics that are up in smoke random and. The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was the he! Even be funny you now are some incredibly dumb people in this building.. Breathe powerful healing but you respond. With random phone numbers and start talking about a serious problem you have wearing a bulletproof vest or that... Asked him: why do n't have any scotch keep a job PPE stand for Protective. Health risks prayer in church what do you have to do was.... Property of their respective owners writer, editor, and the other ca seem... % ) French Bulldog heart Valentines day at your place? how easy can., editor, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter do fart! Decides to join the Hells Angels so one day he was hit by a faint of! Of it every single day you, but I declined cuz I ca n't stand high maintenance,. Along if you want to stand out or dont want to use the same as an attack of the janitors... Bake yourself and not the pizza was fire instead of a lottery ticket and tell you... Who have teens can funny responses to do you smoke them clean smoke detectors dad jokes toe pierced! They just get medium scoot along if you want to take the time, the! Then we 'd both be wrong a few things, but give me a few dabs of and... Of funny and random things to go learnt why do n't you go and! Every once in awhile, but when Ido it 's everyday break the ice an... Correctly will you let me go with a shovel orders another drink it... Throws a white powder into a bar, orders a drink, and there a. The next time youre sitting around a campfire, you wo n't have the right to silent! Get his ball back in play, he throws a white powder into positive!
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